Red Flags

Abusive relationships typically are not obviously abusive right away.  Imagine you go on a first date with someone, and they punch you in the face…are you going on the second date?  The answer hopefully is, “No!”  It would probably be easy for you to leave this person because you aren’t that invested in the relationship.  The warning signs are not usually that easy to see.  People often can excuse or ignore red flags for many reasons.

Here are some “red flags” or warning signs that your relationship may be abusive:

Tries to control your behavior

Tells you who you can be friends with – isolates you

Wants to know where you are all the time

Calls/Texts you excessively

Blames you for his/her problems

Is obsessed with your relationship

Feels he/she owns you and has certain rights over you

Criticizes you frequently – your appearance, intelligence, ability to make decisions

Humiliates you in public

You are uncomfortable around him/her

S/He doesn’t want to meet or be around your family or friends

Is extremely jealous of your friends and family; accuses you of “cheating”

Angers easily

Makes it important for you keep him/her from getting angry

Makes you afraid of what he/she will do if you end the relationship

Threatens you, makes you afraid of him/her

S/He has been abusive in past relationships

Says he/she can’t live without you

S/He abuses siblings, friends, and/or animals


Remember that abusive behaviors start out small or not as serious and tend to get worse over time. 

If you notice any of these red flags in your relationship, please know that there is help. When you are ready to talk, call 847.249.4450. We will answer 24-hours a day.