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Red Flags

Abusive relationships typically are not obviously abusive right away. Imagine you go on a first date with someone, and they punch you in the face…are you going on the second date? The answer hopefully is, “No!” It would probably be easy for you to leave this person because you aren’t that invested in the relationship. The warning signs are not usually that easy to see. People often can excuse or ignore red flags for many reasons.

Here are some “red flags” or warning signs that your relationship may be abusive:

  • Tries to control your behavior
  • Tells you who you can be friends with – isolates you
  • Wants to know where you are all the time
  • Calls/Texts you excessively
  • Blames you for his/her problems
  • Is obsessed with your relationship
  • Feels he/she owns you and has certain rights over you
  • Criticizes you frequently – your appearance, intelligence, ability to make decisions
  • Humiliates you in public
  • You are uncomfortable around him/her
  • S/He doesn’t want to meet or be around your family or friends
  • Is extremely jealous of your friends and family; accuses you of “cheating”
  • Angers easily
  • Makes it important for you keep him/her from getting angry
  • Makes you afraid of what he/she will do if you end the relationship
  • Threatens you, makes you afraid of him/her
  • S/He has been abusive in past relationships
  • Says he/she can’t live without you
  • S/He abuses siblings, friends, and/or animals

Remember that abusive behaviors start out small or not as serious and tend to get worse over time.

If you notice any of these red flags in your relationship, please know that there is help. When you are ready to talk, call (847) 249-4450 or 1-800-600-safe. We will answer 24-hours a day.
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