Abuse Doesn’t Always Start With Violence
Abusive relationships often don’t appear abusive at first. If someone were physically violent on a first date, it would be clear something was wrong — and most people wouldn’t continue the relationship. But abuse rarely starts that way.
Instead, it can begin subtly — with controlling behavior, jealousy, isolation, or emotional manipulation. These red flags can be easy to overlook or excuse, especially when there are feelings involved.
Everyone deserves a relationship built on respect, safety, and trust. Recognizing the early warning signs is an important first step in protecting yourself or someone you care about.
“Red Flags” or warning signs that your relationship may be abusive:
- Tries to control your behavior
- Tells you who you can be friends with – isolates you
- Wants to know where you are all the time
- Calls/Texts you excessively
- Blames you for his/her problems
- Is obsessed with your relationship
- Feels he/she owns you and has certain rights over you
- Criticizes you frequently – your appearance, intelligence, ability to make decisions
- Humiliates you in public
- You are uncomfortable around him/her
- S/He doesn’t want to meet or be around your family or friends
- Is extremely jealous of your friends and family; accuses you of “cheating”
- Angers easily
- Makes it important for you keep him/her from getting angry
- Makes you afraid of what he/she will do if you end the relationship
- Threatens you, makes you afraid of him/her
- S/He has been abusive in past relationships
- Says he/she can’t live without you
- S/He abuses siblings, friends, and/or animals
Remember that abusive behaviors start out small or not as serious and tend to get worse over time.
Noticing red flags in your relationship? You’re not alone.
Help is available — and we’re here when you’re ready.